NSFW? SFW!

So I’m talking about porn this week. It exists, and it must be dealt with. Not just an important part of the internet, but porn is a driver in most guys’ lives. This is just the reality of the situation. Doesn’t make every dude a pervert or deviant. It just makes them a guy, really.

I like tits. What?

I’m not going to get weird about it, or graphic.  I just like me some porn. Most guys do. I consider that I fall in the normal range of this behavior, or like Chris Rock once said “Not an illegal amount. Just enough to get you by.” And I’m talking between consenting adults here, not anything against the law or outrageously exploitative. A wise film character in Boogie Nights says something like “I like fucking. I like watching people fucking.” Just as if it’s as natural a thing as can be. But I want to talk about a couple things that are a lot tamer than films of people fucking.

The thing that bothers me here is that a lot of people equate anything that can loosely be labeled “porn” to be something disgusting and immoral. That’s probably a personal issue. Maybe a moral code imposed by religion. But folks who don’t have those hangups shouldn’t be judged by another’s personal scale. Looking at adult nudity is not illegal, religious folk! And whether it’s “moral” or not, that’s up to the individual.

Let’s say I go on a search for Kate Upton topless. Who does that harm? Lots of people wouldn’t even consider that “porn”. Kidstuff. But to others, that would be perverted behavior. It’s a matter of perspective, really. This is just why guys tend to keep these things to themselves when most of us do it. We hate being judged. We’re not going to stop looking at naked women, though. That would be crazy. By the way, I have religious friends who look at porn, too. They feel shit-tons of guilt about it sometimes. Still, they do it.

There’s the unrated version of Robin Thicke’s video for “Blurred Lines” where the three female models prance around topless. People are all in a tizzy over this. Actually, people are angrily objecting to the clothed version as well. What? Also, when the same Mr. Thicke just performed live with former child idol Miley Cyrus, she twerked on his junk for most of the song. The performance was labeled “pornographic” by a large segment of our populace. Meanwhile, Europe was probably laughing at our reaction to the new Hannah Montana–they would just find her cute.

Not particularly pornographic, just dumb.

It baffles me that people get upset over things like this. A large part of America is still hanging on to its puritanical past. At this point, I find that ridiculous. It’s high time we grew the fuck up. A pair of bare titties, or a singer spanking a girl’s ass at an award show is not the Age of Apocalypse people! Technically, it’s not even porn. Okay? It just seems dumb to me when people are offended by things like this. If you can’t help it, fine. But kindly keep it to yourself. Miley’s ass and what she wants to do with it is her business.

As for actual people performing actual sex acts with each other? Well, I understand that’s not everybody’s thing. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to object to real porn. Hell, I object to some of it. But I still have to have me some porn on a semi-regular basis. That’s just the way it is. I’m not going to try to get deep about it. And when someone says “I don’t understand why that girl would let herself be filmed doing that!” I have to admit that I don’t completely understand it either. But I’m grateful to her and I thank her.

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