Brainwave’s Final Notion

The mastervillain sits in his coffee nook nursing his third cup of the morning and thinking vigorously. Normally it is not so strenuous coming up with a brilliant notion, not for the elite criminal who dared to dub himself Brainwave. Lately, though, it has become difficult.

Maybe it’s due to BW’s nemesis, Captain Babyballs. Could he be training some kind of mind-numbing stupid ray on Brainwave from his orbiting headquarters?

No, Brainwave discounts that line of reason instantly. While the satellite is real, affording the Earth’s arch do-gooder constant surveillance over the entire world, the idea of an intelligence sapping ray is ridiculous.

He’s simply tired, Brainwave decides. He’s been discouraged and humiliated over and over again by that muscle-minded boy scout, Captain Shrivel Dick. No matter what ingenious plan Brainwave devises, it’s always foiled by a punch to the jaw. Anyone would get depressed by that over time. The futility of it all is what’s effecting BW’s very thought processes now. Why bother anymore?

But then what? Go get a job? Not a chance, Brainwave promises himself. Perhaps we should just go out in one of our evil plans. I could dust off The Nuclear Pill, one of our early forays into supervillainy. In that caper, Brainwave had convinced his moronic enemy that he had caused one thousand random citizens scattered round the world to swallow a time-release capsule that was really a mini atom bomb. He’d really enjoyed watching Captain Micronuts toss dozens of hapless people into space. It had taken the superidiot over an hour to realize a way out: he finally threatened to hurl Brainwave into space if he didn’t disarm the pills and BW had to pretend to do so.

How had the so-called “superhero” not been prosecuted for all those murders? Because the population excused him for being the dupe of Brainwave. It was unreal how submoronic the world was! How he yearned for its destruction!

Brainwave calmed himself. No need for losing it now. Yes, The Nuclear Pill would work again. He’d let Captain Tiny Stones believe Brainwave himself had swallowed the bomb and, pow! Up into space he would be tossed. It was a noble way to die. Too bad he couldn’t take the rest of the world to their well-deserved deaths with him. What a final fuck you that would be!

Final fuck you…final fuck you…echoes in his mind for a time. Soon, that simple phrase sets off a chain reaction in Brainwave’s mind that results in the usual stroke of genius. Forget the Nuclear Pill. Forget dying, he didn’t have to die. He suddenly knew how to get rid of his dire enemy. It will be so simple, he thinks. Will it work the way I’ve foreseen it?

After another minute, BW decides it would work perfectly and beautifully. Captain Numbnuts would be out of the picture for good! The world would keep on spinning, unfortunately, but someday it would get what’s coming to it, he was sure. With its champion banished, they would be vulnerable again.

“No time like the present,” Brainwave says aloud. He takes a last sip of coffee, flexes his right hand, and makes the simple motion that will change the world forever.

…to be continued

{Sorry, couldn’t help but end it there. Heh heh. (That’s evil laughter) The end of this two-parter will be up later today or early tomorrow. This story is again in response to today’s Daily Prompt, which I took nothing from but the name for my villain. If one of the big comics companies happens to have a character called Brainwave, I hope they don’t sue me. By the way, the actual name of the hero BW is obsessed with is Captain Large. That’s so dumb I’m sure it’s untaken! See you later, maybe tomorrow…}

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/30/daily-prompt-brainwave/

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8 thoughts on “Brainwave’s Final Notion

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