“…we the jury find the defendant, Captain Large,” said the jury foreperson five months later “guilty on all counts of aggravated assault, being a public nuisance, destruction of private and public property, failure to yield to proper authority, and—”
“That’s fine, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” the judge interrupted. “I’ll take it from here.” He fixed his steely gaze to the person of Captain Large, seven feet and five hundred pounds of muscle who now looked like nothing but a scolded child. “I have a thing or two to add.”
The mastervillain sits in his coffee nook nursing his third cup of the morning and thinking vigorously. Normally it is not so strenuous coming up with a brilliant notion, not for the elite criminal who dared to dub himself Brainwave. Lately, though, it has become difficult.
Maybe it’s due to BW’s nemesis, Captain Babyballs. Could he be training some kind of mind-numbing stupid ray on Brainwave from his orbiting headquarters? Continue reading →
So let’s go back to the summer of 1978. I was still a wee splinter, about eight-years-old. And the Star Wars franchise was only a year old. In fact, it wasn’t even technically a franchise yet. Only one movie existed, just one. Oh, we had the Marvel comics; there was an abominable Christmas Special that’s best forgotten; and I think Mark Hamill had been on The Muppet Show by then. And that, my friends, was it.
Till that summer of ’78. One day, I found a little paperback called The Splinter of the Mind’s Eye. Subtitled from the further adventures of Luke Skywalker, the novel was indeed from the further fucking adventures of Luke Skywalker, and oh Jesus was I ready for more! Snatched this beautiful book off the shelf and ran out with it. Almost literally. (Think my mother might have insisted on paying for it, not sure didn’t care.)