“…we the jury find the defendant, Captain Large,” said the jury foreperson five months later “guilty on all counts of aggravated assault, being a public nuisance, destruction of private and public property, failure to yield to proper authority, and—”
“That’s fine, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” the judge interrupted. “I’ll take it from here.” He fixed his steely gaze to the person of Captain Large, seven feet and five hundred pounds of muscle who now looked like nothing but a scolded child. “I have a thing or two to add.”
“Your Honor,” Captain Large pleaded. “Brainwave flipped me off!” Continue reading
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