Word Pressin’

So right now  I’m at Clark College in Vancouver, WA, sitting in a WordPress class  which I’m taking  as a requirement for a Web Dev degree. It’s about ten minutes before class starts, so of course I’m starting a blog. I felt this course would be a breeze since I’ve been blogging on WordPress for about four months already. Surprise! (It is a breeze.) Okay, but we’ve only had two classes so far, mostly covering the history of WordPress and how to log in to WordPress. Basically, I’m still waiting for the class to get good.

The instructor is a fabulous lady named Lorelle VanFossen, who has been with WP from the beginning days and has about a gajillion blog posts to her credit. I feel like I should highlight quotes from her in red type, like the New Testament does the words of Jesus. She’s that fucking good. I’ll compromise by just putting her words in bold type.  I’m sure by the end of this course I’m going to learn how to grow my fanbase. All the way from my current 48 to a mighty 55. Maybe even 60.

I think I’ll start a series about this class. Since I decided I need to post more than one blog a week (even if no one is reading, ha) that should help pad my content. And other people on WordPress may have some interest in what Lorelle has to say. So we’ll see how that goes.

Just to let you know, this class is historical. Oh yeah. It’s the first time anywhere that a course on WordPress has been offered as a required part of a degree curriculum. So there’s that. Pretty coool.

PS: The next day…

The class got good last night! Next time, I’ll tell you about the exercises we’re doing. Lorelle went into drill sergeant mode tonight. Give me a two-hundred word post with three images and a link. You’ve got twenty minutes, dirtbags! Go!

See you next time…

 

Read part two

The Revised Journey: Essay #1

My Journey with Jellison

     Going into my senior year of high school, I was very excited about my English class. I was eligible to take the highest level English my school offered and I thought things were going to be great. I would finally be challenged by an English class! We would be doing more than just a report on Animal Farm! The class would be writing every day! Yes, I was thinking in exclamation points! The buzz I was feeling was a palpable thing as I waited that first day in first period AP English for the arrival of our instructor, a formidable character named Elizabeth Jellison. She was not only the legendarily tough teacher who still seemed to figure in the nightmares of many graduates of my school, she was also the head of the English Department. This woman, I felt, would know her shit.

Continue reading

A Few Hellish Reflections on English 101

Dear Uncle Satan,

     As you know, I went back to college this quarter in the hopes of getting a degree to change career paths. Career paths! That’s a joke, I wasn’t on a path to begin with.  I was just tired of doing jobs I didn’t care about while writing in my spare time and hoping someday to have something accomplished. Due to a difficult year of no employment, I decided to get a degree in Web Design. I would learn something I liked while also gaining some skills I could use to make good money.

     The first class I enrolled in was English 101. It fulfills the minimum general education requirement that my degree calls for. Of course, I’m  already a writer, so that makes this class a natural and easy decision for me. When I showed up for class on that first day about a month and a half ago now, I was so excited I had to contain myself so I wouldn’t outtalk the instructor.

Continue reading

Zakaria’s Punking Me, Right?

So I’ve been pondering  ways of going about this required blog entry. It needs to be some kind of workout for our essay #2. We’re to put our ideas through some extreme cardio to knock the flab off of them. I’m actually outlining this essay, which is not always how I write. No, I am not going to put my outline up here. That would not be entertaining at all. In my opinion, blogs need to have some entertainment value as well as being “in conversation” with what we’re doing in class.

I already posted a couple of leads. I guess I could do that again to up the word count on this homework blog, but I won’t. So what should I make of this blog? I could vomit out a shitty rough draft. But my rough draft’s aren’t shitty, not when I do a proper outline. And I don’t want to write the paper twice so why post it as a blog?  Oh Lord Jesus, this blog comes at an inconvenient time! I’d rather write about things other than essay #2.
Continue reading

Leads, leads, leads! Yeah!

So here’s one of my discarded leads for our essay #2. I’m not going to use it but I think it’s pretty funny…

Jasmine Cauliflower hates the U.S. government. She thinks the president is a tyrannical fascist with a socialist agenda. Ask her about congress and she’ll paint you a vivid picture of bloated fatcats and special interests running up the National Debt. How does J.C. feel about the American people? The majority of them are lazy good-for-nothings sucking her and other “good Americans” dry. So one day, Jasmine Cauliflower decides to run for the U.S. Senate as a Tea Party Republican. Her goal for when she wins? Do her part to gridlock the legislature so that none of the president’s evil agenda gets accomplished…or anything else.

Obviously,  the lovely Jasmine is a made-up character. But this kind of person does exist. There may actually  be millions of them. I’ll probably save her for a short story.

Here’s another lead, probably the one I’ll use for the essay…

Imagine a nation divided in two: about one-half of the population hates and distrusts their democratically elected government while the other half believes the government can still provide solutions.  With the nation divided in this way, an environment of hostility would naturally  be created. During any national crisis, people on the opposite sides of the divide would find it essentially impossible to get anything accomplished. It is precisely this situation, the divide of “big government” versus “small government” that America finds itself in today.

So there’s my leads, if anyone was wondering. I’m just posting them for fun. In no way should this post be mistaken for Blog #6.

 

Does size really matter?

So there’s a huge divide in America right now  between those who hate what they call “big government” and those who like a so-called “big government”. It seems at first glance to be a vague and non-specific topic, but I think at the heart of this question is the reason why politics has become so polarized. How can a government solve any problems when a large percentage of people, even politicians themselves, see the government as the cause of our problems?  In the Zakaria essay we’ve been bludgeoning ourselves with all week he alludes to this problem, but it has only gotten worse in the two years since he wrote his piece.

Continue reading

My Journey with Jellison: The Essay Version

Going into my senior year of high school, I was very excited about my English class. I was eligible to take the highest level English my school offered and I thought things were going to be great. I would finally be challenged by an English class! We would be doing more than just a report on Animal Farm! The class would be writing every day! Yes, I was thinking in exclamation points! The buzz I was feeling was a palpable thing as I waited that first day in first period AP English for the arrival of our instructor, a formidable character named Elizabeth Jellison. She was not only the legendarily tough teacher who still seemed to figure in the nightmares of many graduates of my school, she was also the head of the English Department. This woman, I felt, would know her shit.

Continue reading

…so i went a bit mental after the Zakaria notes, and wrote this…

I just finished doing the assignment of that  article by Fries Zarkatakita, and I’m shocked out of my senses! I believe I can’t believe what I think I just read! Thank God for this blog and the opportunity I now have to take issue with this issue that the esteemed Mr. Zapata brought up and thrust into my brain. Now let’s get on to the fun part of this homework and rip this upstart immigrant a new one.

First of all, we’re number one. I don’t care where you get your so-called stats from, Mr. Freeze. Ermerica’s the best! How dare you say all of these other countries outrank us in anything! We invented the ranking! They’re all just copying our infinite greatness. So there’s that.
Continue reading

So we have to do this

We have to use blog #4 to catalog our reactions to Fareed Zakaria’s article “What If America’s Best Days are Behind Us?” First of all, I noticed that this essay is about two years old and things are actually worse now. We narrowly missed voting into presidential office a man who puts religion and money above any other priorities, so apparently America is already screwed beyond hope. I think the warning and cautionary tone of Zakaria’s essay comes far too late. This Titanic has sailed.

Continue reading

WTF Blog

Is anyone else having withdrawal symptoms from not having 101 this week? I miss going to class. Not that the extra time didn’t help me today; I had to do an emergency rewrite of a paper and might not have been able to get it done if we’d had class. But still…it’s weird not going. I haven’t missed a day yet and it kind of feels like we’re group ditching or something. So maybe I’ll blog everyday this week for a release. Then again, we still have a lot to do. Are you guys going to post your essays? I probably will next week after I get it back from Meredith. I’d love to read everyone’s work even if we don’t do an official peer review. On that topic, I hope we do more work in groups the rest of the quarter. To me, that’s more valuable than having a lecture the whole period or just writing on our own. Writing is to be shared or it seems kind of pointless.

Later! Here’s a cool shot from Logan’s Run, just cos I feel like it.imagesCAC1M1QR