Wrote Another Song for You….

So sometimes I come up with words of my own to someone else’s song. I’d like to put all the blame on Weird Al Yankovic and Doctor Demento (Google them, kids, if you’re younguns), but I’ve done it since I was two. Anyway, this foolishness is usually just for my own amusement and I don’t inflict these things on others very often. But now I have a blog! (And a weekly post to fill…)

I put up a song a while ago, I’m Not on Facebook. That was based on 10cc’s classic number one hit from 1975 I’m Not in Love. The following is based on a different tune, but from roughly the same era. If you know it, the title probably will give it away. I stay as close to the rhythm and rhyme scheme of the original as I can.

The first person who guesses the song that inspired this nonsense wins ten T of V points! (Which doesn’t mean anything yet, but someday—who knows?)

Phlegmy Moondirt

Phlegmy always choked

Every time he took a snort

Of the powder from Scars;

Phlegmy hated this dealer,

But pushed him too far;

Then Scars would push him back,

And say “Don’t you diss me, jack!”

Phlegmy caught a buzz

But never felt like he was flying

As high as he could;

It felt no better than drinking

Three or four beers.

And this made him very sad,

And after, very mad.

 

So what was this powder?

What kind of junk was Scars pushing here?

Phlegm, he’d plea for a price break,

But the price didn’t drop

And Phlegmy still couldn’t stop!

 

Phlegmy, late one night,

Went and broke into Scars’ trailer

To look for some clues.

Ah, what did Scars use

To make the shit Phlegm abused?

Poor Phlegm found nothing there,

But bleach and puppy hair.

 

So where was the pusher

Who’d addicted Phlegm to this sorry blow?

Scars was down at the Sav-Mart

Wondering what he could make

From Chia seeds and white cake—oh!

 

Now Phlegmy always choked….

 

I’d like to guess, please…Is it “Surrey with the Fringe on Top” from the musical Oklahoma?

Um…no. Great guess, though!

I hope someone gets it so I don’t feel like such a dork doing this dumb thing. See you next time—

{By the way! Never do drugs, kids. But if you do drugs, make sure you get the good stuff.}