So I’ve promised people I’m going to continue blogging. And I’ve put a mandatory condition on myself that I will post a new blog every Friday. The masses await my next words eagerly, I’m sure. All twenty or so of you…
Since this started as a class project, only classy people are reading. I do intend to branch these things out into the wider world, however, and I thought about starting my non-homework blog career with a bang.
This is not going to be much of a bang.
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Imagine a nation split in two: about one-half of the population hates and distrusts their government while the other half believes the government can still provide solutions. With the country divided in this way, an environment of hostility would naturally be created. During any national crisis, people on the opposite sides of this divide would find it essentially impossible to come together and get anything accomplished. When a large segment of a country’s population hasn’t the slightest faith in its own elected government, that place is going to have some problems. A once mighty and united nation could begin to falter when attacked from without and within. It is precisely this situation which America finds itself in today.
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My Journey with Jellison
Going into my senior year of high school, I was very excited about my English class. I was eligible to take the highest level English my school offered and I thought things were going to be great. I would finally be challenged by an English class! We would be doing more than just a report on Animal Farm! The class would be writing every day! Yes, I was thinking in exclamation points! The buzz I was feeling was a palpable thing as I waited that first day in first period AP English for the arrival of our instructor, a formidable character named Elizabeth Jellison. She was not only the legendarily tough teacher who still seemed to figure in the nightmares of many graduates of my school, she was also the head of the English Department. This woman, I felt, would know her shit.
Dear Uncle Satan,
As you know, I went back to college this quarter in the hopes of getting a degree to change career paths. Career paths! That’s a joke, I wasn’t on a path to begin with. I was just tired of doing jobs I didn’t care about while writing in my spare time and hoping someday to have something accomplished. Due to a difficult year of no employment, I decided to get a degree in Web Design. I would learn something I liked while also gaining some skills I could use to make good money.
The first class I enrolled in was English 101. It fulfills the minimum general education requirement that my degree calls for. Of course, I’m already a writer, so that makes this class a natural and easy decision for me. When I showed up for class on that first day about a month and a half ago now, I was so excited I had to contain myself so I wouldn’t outtalk the instructor.
So I’ve been pondering ways of going about this required blog entry. It needs to be some kind of workout for our essay #2. We’re to put our ideas through some extreme cardio to knock the flab off of them. I’m actually outlining this essay, which is not always how I write. No, I am not going to put my outline up here. That would not be entertaining at all. In my opinion, blogs need to have some entertainment value as well as being “in conversation” with what we’re doing in class.
I already posted a couple of leads. I guess I could do that again to up the word count on this homework blog, but I won’t. So what should I make of this blog? I could vomit out a shitty rough draft. But my rough draft’s aren’t shitty, not when I do a proper outline. And I don’t want to write the paper twice so why post it as a blog? Oh Lord Jesus, this blog comes at an inconvenient time! I’d rather write about things other than essay #2.
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So here’s one of my discarded leads for our essay #2. I’m not going to use it but I think it’s pretty funny…
Jasmine Cauliflower hates the U.S. government. She thinks the president is a tyrannical fascist with a socialist agenda. Ask her about congress and she’ll paint you a vivid picture of bloated fatcats and special interests running up the National Debt. How does J.C. feel about the American people? The majority of them are lazy good-for-nothings sucking her and other “good Americans” dry. So one day, Jasmine Cauliflower decides to run for the U.S. Senate as a Tea Party Republican. Her goal for when she wins? Do her part to gridlock the legislature so that none of the president’s evil agenda gets accomplished…or anything else.
Obviously, the lovely Jasmine is a made-up character. But this kind of person does exist. There may actually be millions of them. I’ll probably save her for a short story.
Here’s another lead, probably the one I’ll use for the essay…
Imagine a nation divided in two: about one-half of the population hates and distrusts their democratically elected government while the other half believes the government can still provide solutions. With the nation divided in this way, an environment of hostility would naturally be created. During any national crisis, people on the opposite sides of the divide would find it essentially impossible to get anything accomplished. It is precisely this situation, the divide of “big government” versus “small government” that America finds itself in today.
So there’s my leads, if anyone was wondering. I’m just posting them for fun. In no way should this post be mistaken for Blog #6.
So there’s a huge divide in America right now between those who hate what they call “big government” and those who like a so-called “big government”. It seems at first glance to be a vague and non-specific topic, but I think at the heart of this question is the reason why politics has become so polarized. How can a government solve any problems when a large percentage of people, even politicians themselves, see the government as the cause of our problems? In the Zakaria essay we’ve been bludgeoning ourselves with all week he alludes to this problem, but it has only gotten worse in the two years since he wrote his piece.
Going into my senior year of high school, I was very excited about my English class. I was eligible to take the highest level English my school offered and I thought things were going to be great. I would finally be challenged by an English class! We would be doing more than just a report on Animal Farm! The class would be writing every day! Yes, I was thinking in exclamation points! The buzz I was feeling was a palpable thing as I waited that first day in first period AP English for the arrival of our instructor, a formidable character named Elizabeth Jellison. She was not only the legendarily tough teacher who still seemed to figure in the nightmares of many graduates of my school, she was also the head of the English Department. This woman, I felt, would know her shit.
I just finished doing the assignment of that article by Fries Zarkatakita, and I’m shocked out of my senses! I believe I can’t believe what I think I just read! Thank God for this blog and the opportunity I now have to take issue with this issue that the esteemed Mr. Zapata brought up and thrust into my brain. Now let’s get on to the fun part of this homework and rip this upstart immigrant a new one.
First of all, we’re number one. I don’t care where you get your so-called stats from, Mr. Freeze. Ermerica’s the best! How dare you say all of these other countries outrank us in anything! We invented the ranking! They’re all just copying our infinite greatness. So there’s that.
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We have to use blog #4 to catalog our reactions to Fareed Zakaria’s article “What If America’s Best Days are Behind Us?” First of all, I noticed that this essay is about two years old and things are actually worse now. We narrowly missed voting into presidential office a man who puts religion and money above any other priorities, so apparently America is already screwed beyond hope. I think the warning and cautionary tone of Zakaria’s essay comes far too late. This Titanic has sailed.
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